At the end of 2013 I took a match and lit a piece of work on fire. Without ever consciously planning it, from the very first seconds I knew this is what I had been wanting to do for quite some time.  I am not into performance art per se. Ironically, when I posted this "Art Burning" it gathered more attention than any other single piece of art I ever made.

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That's right, at some point in your life when you've looked around at what you've accumulated, saved, built and hoarded, you felt so removed and disgusted that it all had to go! AND GO NOW! That is where I am at in my art career. But don't be mistaken that my act of Art Burning is for only one reason or purpose. I can tell you it began in a blink with an impulse, a match and my iphone after connecting for a single moment to what had been gestating for a very very long time. 

I am not doing this because I think my work is so magnificent and anyone should give a hoot. At the same time the awakenings I have come to about the committed life of an artist to their art is eye opening and very important. 

On the contrary, I look at my work and feel that disappointment to know it isn't the best of what I have to offer artistically. Whether anyone buys it or not, the work must go. 

Why? Why not just store it somewhere out of sight?  

Because that is just fake to me on so many levels. I don't want to acknowledge that my butt is big and my muffin top out of control so I will start to wear bigger clothes and not confront it? 

There is something so magical and powerful about art. It does have a life of it's own. When I look at my body of work today it's emotional ties and my ego keep me from being free to do something new rather just try to keep on improving on the past. 

I was asked this week how it felt to burn the self portrait you see in the first video.   I felt liberated, I felt free.  There are many great arguments I have heard why I should not do this. I have been begged not to get rid of my work. I may be wrong. I may regret this. I can only tell you that there is this strong certainty and clarity that comes when I say I am committed to it. It is an act of non attachment, the lessons  we all nod our heads to in yoga class. I am more than my art, I don't need to have it around as a journal of my experiences, I lived it. I am willing to follow the guidance that by letting it go there would be made an authentic space mentally and emotionally for growth.

 

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AuthorApril DeMarco